Pro Wrestling Desecrated

Welcome to my nightmare...

2011-06-23T15:01:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago I had a nightmare that featured the one and only Ox Baker. For some reason, in the dream I wasn't myself but some kind of gonzo Hunter S. Thompson-looking smut film director and I was in charge of bringing a crew to Ox Baker's home to film a combination shoot interview/smut film with Ox and a lovely young lass of questionable virtues. As things progressed, Ox refused to remove his nasty grey (I'm assuming once upon a time they were white) brief underwear and insisted that he could just pull his junk through the pocket of the underwear. The yound lady, who was freaking out at the reality that she would be doing the unmentionable with this geriatric monster of a man, bailed out. No amount of coaxing and bribing would have her change her mind. Ox was heartbroken and enraged, yelling and sobbing that we promised him some tail, heck he even made the crew a homemade strawberry cake. He threatened to give me his dreaded heart punch if I didn't make good on the deal so I hurridly went out and found a street walker to bring back to the horrors of Ox's abode. She was far from a looker but didn't balk much at the prospect of making Ox a happy camper. Seeing her, Ox yelled "Now that's what I'm talkin' about! C'mere, honey." and things got more repulsive quick. I woke up screaming.

Lex never could keep a secret

2011-06-19T19:28:00.006-04:00

Yes it is, Haynes...

2011-06-17T21:13:00.008-04:00

How much you wanna bet that trophy got smashed over Wildfire's head immediately after that picture was taken?

2011-06-15T22:45:00.002-04:00

From the mind that gave you Superfly Afi...

2011-06-15T22:42:00.003-04:00

Some of my wrestling-related demotivational posters

2011-06-04T15:05:00.000-04:00

A commentary...

2011-05-20T20:24:00.003-04:00

Click on image to see at full size

They work well together

2010-09-12T11:23:00.002-04:00

Clean your drawers, Dick.

2010-08-30T23:47:00.003-04:00

No "Missy is a whore" joke this time

2010-08-29T01:01:00.001-04:00

Andre has a posse

2010-08-29T00:49:00.003-04:00

Man of 1000 gimmicks

2010-08-28T22:18:00.000-04:00

Now, for something a little different...

2010-05-02T15:45:00.005-04:00

Something interestingly odd was brought up during Hulk Hogan's most recent visit to The Howard Stern Show. During the show, a Stern staffer came in and asked about a rumor that years ago, Lanny Poffo was so limber that he could contort himself and suck his own johnson, and that people in the locker rooms would pay to see him do it. Hogan confirmed the rumor but said he was never present when it happened.

I wonder how this would have played out if Lanny dignified the events in the ring during his pre-match poetry recitals...

Oh yeah!!!

2010-03-26T07:23:00.001-04:00

Always good to have something to fall back on

2010-03-18T04:01:00.003-04:00

Imitation is NOT the sincerest form of flattery

2010-03-13T03:10:00.003-05:00

Boogie Woogie plans ahead

2010-03-09T02:49:00.001-05:00

For some reason, the McGuire Twins didn't make the list.

2010-03-07T01:08:00.003-05:00

Move over, David Cassidy

2010-02-28T12:31:00.004-05:00

Humbled in the old country way

2010-02-28T01:04:00.001-05:00

Push it...and pull it

2010-02-26T22:08:00.006-05:00

The world was dying to know, dawg.

2010-02-24T01:51:00.005-05:00

Were there any REAL indians in wrestling?

2010-02-22T21:55:00.000-05:00

'Cause Stardust said so

2010-02-22T21:54:00.001-05:00

Spoiler: Dusty won

2010-02-22T00:05:00.002-05:00

High water mark

2010-02-21T12:04:00.002-05:00

What could have been...what SHOULD have been...

2010-02-20T13:50:00.006-05:00

During the 1960's and 1970's, if you had a television show it was almost a centainty that either Gold Key Comics or Dell Comics (which were once the same outfit) would put out a comic book based on your program. It's too bad that none of the regional or national wrestling promotions during that time got the Gold Key treatment, but if they did, I'd like for it to have been the Nashville-based wrestling outfit run by Jerry Jarrett and Jerry Lawler, known to fans as Memphis Wrestling, or just Championship Wrestling (the tv shows actual title). If I had a time machine I'd be tempted to land outside of the Gold Key offices in 1977 and convince the powers-that-be that the Memphis show would make for a great comic book. Who knows, it could have helped keep Gold Key in business...

...okay, maybe not...

If this van's a rock 'n' rollin'...

2010-02-20T03:11:00.008-05:00

Make it a three way dance with Ross Perot and I'm there

2010-02-19T03:58:00.001-05:00

The real reason Schultz was future endeavored

2010-02-19T02:47:00.003-05:00

Fritzy is chintzy

2010-02-18T20:38:00.004-05:00

Dusty, that won't be neccessary

2010-02-18T19:11:00.002-05:00

"B"-Town bedlam

2010-02-18T18:31:00.006-05:00

I heard that Ricky threw up

2010-02-17T18:59:00.001-05:00

Red means green

2010-02-16T21:44:00.006-05:00

Left leg KICK, right leg KICK...

2010-02-16T15:20:00.002-05:00

The blind leading the blind

2010-02-16T14:18:00.004-05:00

Sure, Billy...sure.

2010-02-16T10:47:00.004-05:00

Should have used the tarp

2010-02-15T18:31:00.002-05:00

Not really, Ricki.

2010-02-15T18:27:00.003-05:00

Locker room bicycle part 3

2010-02-15T04:32:00.003-05:00

Keeping things classy

2010-02-14T21:50:00.006-05:00

Brothers from different mothers...and fathers

2010-02-14T03:09:00.002-05:00

Pimpin' Ain't Easy

2010-02-14T03:06:00.003-05:00

Workplace romances never end well

2010-02-14T01:36:00.003-05:00

The secret of my success...

2010-02-13T21:35:00.005-05:00

A face only the wife of a plumber could love

2010-02-13T18:36:00.003-05:00

Well, technically it's his wife's business...

2010-02-13T18:19:00.002-05:00

I read it for the interviews

2010-02-13T18:16:00.001-05:00

That "win a dream date" contest is still on, ladies

2010-02-13T18:15:00.002-05:00

Locker room bicycle part 2

2010-02-13T18:13:00.008-05:00

Buried!

2010-02-13T18:12:00.001-05:00

Sheiky RESPECTS Wendi Richter

2010-02-13T18:11:00.001-05:00

When a squeegee just won't do...

2010-02-13T18:10:00.004-05:00

Whores!

2010-02-13T18:09:00.001-05:00

Well...dare you?

2010-02-13T18:07:00.001-05:00

Locker room bicycle part 1

2010-02-13T18:05:00.002-05:00

Try some oat bran, brother.

2010-02-13T18:03:00.002-05:00

You deserve a break-in today

2010-02-13T18:00:00.002-05:00